Mothers that feel overwhelmed too often

Hey mama, you are not alone!!

There were nights that I cried myself to sleep . There were days I witnessed my own behavior and I was ashamed!

God sent me these two wonderful children to raise, learn from and I could not cope!

I was exhausted physically, emotionally and psychologically. All I wanted to do was to be a good mum to my babies.

I would wake up grumpy, judgmental, exhausted with a million things to do. Before the day began I felt burnt out and empty. I had nothing to give to my children and that scared me.

Doing my best at that given time was not enough for me.

I was hard on myself, judgmental, filled with anger and I felt like a was not worthy to be a mommy. The hardest part, reaching out for help and being told time and time again "I am sure you are not so bad. You are exaggerating!'' With tears running down my cheeks and a heart filled with shame I got down on my knees and prayed!

I prayed for a way to do it differently

I prayed for patience

I prayed for a gentler voice

I prayed for a smile when I looked into their eyes

I prayed for a peaceful heart and soul because my heart and soul were so terribly tired and traumatized

I prayed for better reactions to things my children would do

I prayed that love would pour into me from above so it would fill all the empty spaces and overflow onto all the ones I loved

I prayed for peaceful eyes, happy eyes that could touch my children's soul

I prayed for a way to hear them when they never had the voice to say what needed to be said

I prayed for the time to make it right

I so longed to be a good mother!

As I prayed I began to feel calmer, I knew my prayers would be answered. As you struggle, I struggled too, but it can be different.

Don't stop believing in that healthy and loving relationship with your children. You need them as much as they need you.

I became consistent, disciplined and unapologetic about fighting for a relationship I believed in. A relationship I believed was too precious to give up on.

I exchanged ego for love and I exchanged power positioning for talks/communication/listening

I eventually found my way to a relationship like no other. So unique and valuable as all relationships are!

I became conscious of my behavior, conscious of my own fears, conscious of my own beliefs. Things that should have had nothing to do with my own children but when I was not conscious I reacted due to my inner turbulence and reflected it all on them.

Never underestimate the process of healing since it heals not just the heart and soul but the relationship itself! Through the healing process you also learn to forgive yourself for not knowing better to begin with. Forgiveness, such a powerful word that really means so much! Being able to forgive brings a different kind of understanding to all relationships, past or present!

Mothers, there is always hope in healing your relationships with your children. Never give up!